Call it a nightmare of the bureaucratic state. Call it capitalism gone bad. Call it the “law bubble” (a la the “housing bubble”) that has popped. Whatever you call it, this story about skilled, highly accomplished attorneys having trouble finding work says a lot about our economy, or at least the legal economy. Things are bad.

But what makes this truly postworthy is the 2nd paragraph of the third comment:

All joking aside, when I worked at a certain federal agency that collects money from taxpayers many years ago, the fax machine for incoming resumes was in a locked closet on the fourth floor of an old building on Pennsylvania Avenue. Once a week, a part-time secretary would take all of the accumulated faxes, and put about four of them on someone�s desk, and the rest went into the recycling bin. Often, there was not enough paper in the fax machine to last a day or two.

Can there be a better image of bureaucratic dystopia? If so, I have never seen it. Schwarzschild wormholes, indeed!

I gotta hand it to the ABA for keeping me up to date on the magnitude of the collapse of the legal job market with a constant stream of information about layoffs, layoffs, and more layoffs. Apparently, last Monday was another record-setting day for legal layoffs with more than 730 lawyers and staffers losing their jobs. This follows two other record-setting days on Jan. 29 and Feb. 12, with more than 600 lawyers and staffers laid off on those days.

Awesome.

People keep telling me that these people being laid off are not really competition for me; they are biglaw lawyers and I’m looking for a public defender position and these are totally different things. I see that point, but when these people can’t even give their time away I am certain there are public defenders out there who are looking at this and thinking, “Yeah, I was going to look for some other kind of work but I think I’ll keep my job for now until things look better.” This means fewer openings for me. There’s also likely some small fraction of the biglaw layoffs who are deciding that now is the time to change careers and become public defenders (or, possibly more likely, prosecutors). If so, that means more competition for what few positions do open.

I’m not whining, I’m just saying. I’m lucky enough to actually have an interview today, so things may be looking up… at least for me. Fingers crossed.

Last Thursday somewhere over 800 associates and staff were laid off from Biglaw. Scott Greenfield thinks it’s inevitable that some number of them will be hanging shingles as criminal defense lawyers. I definitely agree. And while it’s unlikely that a very large number of them will want to become public defenders, the fact that they will be flooding the legal markets can only mean fewer jobs for all of us. If nothing else, with more competition in private practice, fewer current PDs are going to decide now is a good time to leave their jobs and strike out on their own, which means fewer PD positions for people like me.

This is just not good. Not good at all.

One of the “benefits” of being a member of the ABA (I’m pretty sure my membership has expired, but whatever) is their weekly email of legal news headlines. Today’s email brought great news about the legal job market. For example, Jenner & Block asked 10 partners to leave, a PR firm is advising law firms on how to write layoff memos, another firm is rumored to have laid off 80 associates in the last nine months, some talking head says the legal economy is going to be twice as bad as the most extreme predictions, and law students are being advised to have backup plans (and backup backup plans) b/c they are heading into “a grim hiring market.”

Yeah.

So this is the context in which I just quit my job and am now looking for a law job in a state where I do not yet have a license to practice. If you always suspected I was utterly brilliant, wonder no more! I am obviously a genius!

The good news is that I’ve never found that the “news” or advice from the ABA has been very relevant to me as law student or lawyer. Like the law school I attended, the ABA is focused largely on BigLaw, and BigLaw is not where I have any interest in being. I’m going to be fine.

Oops! Gotta run! I’m late for my shift at Starbucks!

Richie Ramone, one of the drummers for The Ramones, lost his fight to get paid for 6 songs he wrote because a judge said that digital files are not “manufactured or sold” but are instead transmitted and licensed.

Wha? So when I pay someone (e.g., Apple) to “buy” a song, and I download the song and do whatever I want with it (listen to it, share it, give it someone as a gift, etc.), I did not “buy” it? Apple did not “sell” the digital file to me? Sure, music from iTunes and other online music retailers has restrictions, but they are easy to circumvent and hardly change the fact that the digital file is “sold” in an online music transaction. Except, apparently, according to this judge, that’s not true.

See why I don’t practice copyright law?

Big firm associates are apparently “lost” and “unhappy.” Don’t you feel sorry for them? Things sort of sound especially bad at Jenner & Block, which does make me sad, actually.¹ All of us unhappy lawyers could become teachers, concrete artists, or rappers. Concrete really does offer endless possibilities.

Tip: Don’t lie to judges.

Tip2: Macs are so much better than PCs it’s amazing people even have to keep asking this silly question. Macs can even let you take law school exams these days!

Don’t you think a lot can be explained by the fact that there are drugs in our water?

1. Apologies to my friends at big firms; I know it sucks. Might I suggest a career in public interest law? No money, but lots more satisfaction! Maybe…↩

I’ve been reading the daily humor at The Disassociate for some time now, but in the busyness of recent weeks I’d fallen a little behind. Now, better late than never, I was delighted to find The Disassociate has moved into a brand new home with a stellar redesign and a store where you can buy greeting cards featuring some of The Disassociate’s greatest hits. I’m particularly fond of “pose,” “grad,” and “lexis,” but they’re all excellent, depending on your audience. Definitely check them out.

Also, if you’ve got what it takes to make a short video, The Disassociate has a challenge for you:

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! THE DISASSOCIATE IS STARTING A VIDEO SERIES ON FRIDAYS WITH THE FIRST ONE ON OCTOBER 13TH. WE WILL PAY $50 for the best (as determined by us) 1 minute (or so) short and post it in lieu of a comic on Friday. You keep all rights, Yada-yada. The only requirements – it cannot be offensive and it must involve The Bluebook.

Here’s hoping we finally get to see a few examples of what the bluebook is really good for! [tags]humor[/tags]

Boyd v. U.S., 116 U.S. 616, 635 (1886):

Illegitimate and unconstitutional practices get their first footing . . . by silent approaches and slight deviations from legal modes of procedure. This can only be obviated by adhering to the rule that constitutional provisions for the security of person and property should be liberally construed. A close and literal construction deprives them of half their efficacy, and leads to gradual depreciation of the right, as if it consisted more in sound than in substance. It is the duty of courts to be watchful for the constitutional rights of the citizen, and against any stealthy encroachments thereon. Their motto should be obsta principiis. We have no doubt that the legislative body is actuated by the same motives; but the vast accumulation of public business brought before it sometimes prevents it, on a first presentation, from noticing objections which become developed by time and the practical application of the objectionable law.

I stumbled upon this while reading Courtroom 302 by Steve Bogira. I found it sort of reassuring in light of recent news. Sort of.

For some reason, no one ever wonders “what if” they don’t pursue a career at a big law firm.

That’s just one of the many little observations made by the title character of Jeremy Blachman’s debut novel, Anonymous Lawyer. And like much of the rest of the novel, it rings with a simple truth that will draw you into this novel and evenââ�¬â��shock!ââ�¬â��make you care about the fate of an archetypically ruthless hiring partner at a big law firm. Coming as it does from a reader predisposed to loath all things Biglaw, that’s saying something!

In a nutshell: This book is simply great. If you have any interest at all in the law as a profession, this book will be one of the best “light” reads of your summer. As all the reviews point out, it’s so funny you’ll laugh out loud. And of course it is! What else would we expect from the genius behind the blog from which the book developed? On top of that, it’s one of the first books written almost completely in blog posts¹ and its ending is likely to surprise you. But if you pick up this book only expecting some great laughs, be warned: Serious commentary on the state of the legal profession lurks just behind every outrageous thought, statement, and action of the Anonymous Lawyer. That’s what makes this book truly great: like all great satire, even as it’s making you fall out of your chair with laughter, it’s also commenting seriously on the characters and themes it constantly mocks. Ostensibly the book is about the Anonymous Lawyer’s (the AL) struggle to become chairman of his firm. But buried in the jokes is the story of why no one should want to be any part of that firm in the first place, let alone its chairman. It’s funny, but it will probably make you think, too.
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1. Have there been others?↩