The Circle of Giving
As a kid, I was taught that it’s better to give than to receive. At the same time, I learned something about being humble and meek, or something like that, but the lesson ended up being: Don’t want things, or if you want things, don’t tell people about it b/c then you’ll sound selfish and greedy.
Well, you know what? I’ve since learned that those lessons are contradictory and are a recipe for generating a lot of misery among those you care about and who care about you. In a consumer society where it is better to give than to receive, you must do your part to make it easy for those who care about you to give you things. To get started being a good person at xmas in a consumer economy, please follow these simple steps:- Develop interests in several hobbies and/or sports and/or movies or actors or directors or bands or authors, etc. Make others aware of your interests. Pick favorite colors and teams, etc, and make these known, as well.
- Make and publish (either online or otherwise) a list of items you desire. Amazon wishlists work fine, or start a del.icio.us category called “wishlist” and tag things you’d like to have. Try to populate the list with a good number of items each year (at least a dozen), and try to include items at various price points.
- When someone asks you what you would like for xmas (or your birthday, or whatever), always make sure they know where to find your list and encourage them to consult it. If this embarrasses you, play forgetful: “Oh, I don’t know, but I did start a list online that might be helpful.”
- Don’t be shy. It’s good to want things.









December 12th, 2006 at 11:23 pm
So. very. true. Men need to learn this lesson. Thanks for the post.
December 13th, 2006 at 7:20 pm
Damn. That’s freakin’ brilliant, Ambib. It’s too late for this year, but by gosh, I’m going to do it for next year! :)
December 14th, 2006 at 11:46 am
Well? So what do you want for Xmas? Where can I find your list?
December 15th, 2006 at 8:53 am
My list, sort of. I haven’t been very good at doing this recently, but I’m trying to be better. Where is your list? Hmm?
December 16th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Those links are olllllllld. Lucky for you I found some more recent ‘wants’ on Amazon. Watchyer mailbox.